I actually stopped messaging my online friends just to start a random conversation and will only do if I need to ask something or if they do message me first. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t take them out from my life, instead I am filtering them out. Before my change, I was always messaging my online friends, craving for “company”, unable to let my day pass by without having long conversations about stuffs with my online friends. When I went through this change in my life during the past 4 months, I realized that I don’t need to connect with them to be happy. I don’t need to start a conversation to gossip about something or something. I don’t need to talk to them about recent news whether it’s real life or recent game updates. I don’t need online life to define how friendly and approachable I am.
I don’t really message any of my friends first. I mean, like I am the first to message and start a conversation. Some of you will say, “Wow, so kami pa gusto mo mag message sayo? Paimportante ka teh?” It’s not that I am paimportante, but I prefer to talk to you about things that makes sense. It’s not that I don’t care about my friends or that I am now a snob just because I changed my lifestyle. Like I said, I am also filtering out my friends. My real friends would know what kind of person I am and they would know that even if I don’t message them all the time, they know that I care and I will always reply back if they message me. I am an introvert remember? I can live on my own, I can survive on my own. I don’t really need unnecessary attention from other people but I do care. If I see one of my friends posting something negative, I would definitely send them a thoughtful message. If someone comments on my posts, I would reply. It just happens that I am almost done with social life. Notice how I seldom post selfies and just pictures of my books and my study table? That’s what I enjoy right now and it’s not seeking attention from online friends.
So if you’re an online friend of mine and you think that I erased you from my life just because I don’t message you like I used to before, don’t think that way. My 6 years of life ever since I went here in the United States, it was always the online life. I finally found the person that made me feel that I can live my life without seeking attention from my online friends and trying to gain more. I am trying to love myself more, getting to know myself more which I haven’t done for years. So, give me this opportunity to let me finally know what I can do even without the online life.
You can always talk to me, tell me your problems, tell me your achievements, tell me about your recent breakup, tell me about your struggles in life and school. I will reply back and talk to you even if we end up talking for 12 hours straight. I will be here for you. I will be somewhere behind you and if you need my company, call out to me and I will be there. I’m sorry if I suddenly became such a boring and quiet person, it’s just that I like being alone a little and also I need to know if you’re a real friend and not think bad about the new me.
I’ll be here if you need me ☺️