It was 2 years ago that I made my first decision to get a tattoo after surviving depression. I have always wanted to get them before but it was all for the “fashion”. But that day I stepped inside a tattoo parlor, I have decided that everytime I decide to get inked, all of it will have a story so that whenever people asks them why I got them, I have a reason to tell not just because they’re pretty and I found them in google.
I. Cat-eared Semi-Colon
This was originally supposed to be just a tiny no cat ear semi colon just because I only wanted it to be minimal, but my love for cats kicked in at the last minute and decided to add it in. I got this 2 years ago, months after breaking up with my other ex.
A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence but chose not to.
When I was depressed, there were many times that I wanted to really end my life but there would always be something pulling me back. I told this on my other post, the story of my depression so I won’t talk about it much in here. I edited out my scars. I am not ashamed of them, I just don’t want them to trigger anyone going through depression right now.
II. Red String of Fate
According to Chinese legend, the two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances.
“This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.”
Because I had multiple failed relationships, when I read about this Red String of Fate, I fell in love with the myth. Just the thought of the person who is on the other end of my red string, my destined lover, excites me. It gave me hope that no matter how many failed relationships I get, I will eventually find the person connected to my red string.
My current boyfriend actually got the same red string before he left for Texas. It is hard to explain, some people would raise a brow at us but there is something that is really unexplainable that I feel that he is my destined one, the other end of my red string.
III. Blue and Purple Leaves
I got this the same time I got the Red String and since finger tattoos in colors other than black fades over time, my leaves has already faded that it’s not that noticeable anymore.
The reason why I got this, is because for me, it symbolizes, Hope and Freedom. Hope that one day, I will get the Freedom I have always wanted. No, I am not captive where I am right now but I cannot just leave. I owe my life and they are family but so many problems arise and sometimes, I just wish I’m done with school so I can finally move out, be with the person I love and one day start a family. I’m already 25 years old, and I can’t go out until the time I want, I can’t travel, I can’t do anything if they don’t approve of it. So yeah…I hope to be free one day.
Also the reason why it’s on the left finger because I also believe that the one who will give me the freedom that I want will be my husband.
IV. Harry Potter Page Stars
I have always loved Harry Potter books and if you open one, you will see in each pages, there are three stars just like this. These stars doesn’t just symbolize Harry Potter books but my love for books in general. My supposedly first depression was when I was in high school because of a family problem but when I grabbed The Host for the first time, the depression didn’t continue so books saved me from an early illness. If I had thought about reading 4 years ago, I would not have gone through all that.
V. Watercolor Moon
I love all my tattoos, but this one. This single tattoo pisses me off. I asked the artist for a watercolor crescent moon tattoo and I got a…bluish pink banana. I didn’t bother telling her it’s horrible because I don’t want her redoing it at making it bigger, making it worse. I lied to her face and said it’s beautiful. I will have this redone once I get to a place with a good watercolor artist. *roll eyes*
VI. Cherry Blossom Branch
Cherry Blossoms represent the fragility of life. I don’t really need to explain this but I consider my life to be extra fragile, that a heartbreak or something bad that happens would break me. I had this inked to remind me that I need to be careful, calm down, think of solutions to my problems, not jump into conclusions that would only hurt me and always made sure that I do my best to stay positive for myself and to my loved ones.
VII. Special Date
7519. The very special day that I officially became the girlfriend of Christian Louis Rabago. Like I said, there is something in our relationship that I am 101% sure it will last for our lifetime. I did plan on getting tattoos when I was with my previous boyfriends but I wasn’t able to get them because of emergencies or that I just didn’t have money to do so. I find couple tattoos to be really sweet and that it means that your partner is serious with your relationship and yes, my boyfriend got them as well. He didn’t even hesitate when we thought of the idea and even when we got to the tattoo parlor, he went through with it without thinking twice.
So that’s all my tattoo for now. I do have more tattoos to be done in mind someday most especially, a heartbeat tatoo in my left chest of my firstborn child, wedding date on my left ring finger, feathers on the back of my right shoulder once I move out of my parents’ house and something related to my relationship with my boyfriend tattooed in morse code on my ribs just below my breast because of the biblical belief that Eve was made out of one of Adam’s ribs. For now, I’m satisfied with what I have although my cherry blossom is giving me headaches because of allergies.